Moving Stinks, but God is still good.

I will be moving in about 6 weeks (I say about, because my move has to be coordinated with the current Pastor and the Trustees of the Church I will be serving, before I can move into my new home in the new community/churches I will serve).  This has resulted in many emotions as well as thoughts.  With any move, you begin to realize just how much stuff you have accumulated over time (I've been here 6 years and when my HH who had previously lived and worked in another community, retired, we moved him and everything from a 2nd household into this house, so yes it's rather full) and how much you can really do without.  So onto the process of getting ready to move - there has been a lot of sorting.  We have chosen the following as part of our process for purging a few items that we obviously don't need; we have a laundry basket that we put "give-away" items in (or items we need to return to their rightful owner), we have a laundry basket that we put smaller "for sale" items in (the bigger items we put sticky notes on), we have a laundry basket for items that need to go to good will or another charity of our choosing, and finally we have a laundry basket that is for items that just need to go to the dump or in the trash.  Each time the basket for each category is full, we stop purging long enough to either deliver items that need to be given away or have sold; we make a trip to the dump to get rid of the trash or we take the charity items with us when we make a trip to town.  So far the process seems to be going well, and I like that some of those items I'm not quite ready to part with are being enjoyed by someone else when we give them away or donate them to a charity.  Yes, moving stinks and I'm still not ready to move; but God is still good and I'm trusting Him through the process.  Now, to get back to purging, packing, and cleaning. 

Bittersweet moments

It always amazes me how we go through life with moments of joy and sadness all mixed together.  There have been so many bittersweet moments since the first part of March.  The 2nd Sunday of March it was announced that I would be moving to a new appointment, serving 2 churches in a different location.  Keep in mind I have been in my current appointment for 6 years, that is a long time to be in one place, and so I've made friends, built relationships, experienced many things with these people I call friends and family.  It was not an easy decision for me to make and yet there are many reasons why I must move on.  One, I agreed to go where called when I became a United Methodist Pastor and go I will and I truly am excited about the opportunities that lay ahead of me.  Two, my HH and I have been living apart for almost a year, since his move to his new appointment last July 1st.  When I say living apart, I mean over an hour and a half apart, seeing each other maybe once a week (usually more like every 10 days).  This appointment will put me only 20 minutes from him.  It will be so good to see him more often.  Three, I didn't want to be any further away from my Mom than I currently am.  She is in her late 70's and although very healthy, active, and spirited, I just feel a great need to be close to her and spend time with her.  This move while putting me closer to the HH won't put me any further from my Mom than I am now.  Fourth, we all need something new from time to time.  If we stay put, we sometimes get stuck in a rut, we get complacent and less effective.  I don't wish for any of that in my life - I like adventure (although some sense of security is nice) and I can't wait to see what God has in store as I minister with the people in these new churches.  So many tears already as I prepare to leave this place that I have called home for 6 years, so many moments that await.  A mix of the sad and the happy.  This is just one of the bittersweet moments that has come about in the last few weeks though - there is more.......

At the end of March our newest grandson was born and it was such a moment of joy that it almost overshadowed the loss we had endured just two days before.  Almost.  As I sat holding my new grandson I couldn't help but think of all the things he would experience in life; and yet, at the same time, I was praying for my friends who had lost their Dad unexpectedly and thinking of all the things they would no longer experience with him.  Maybe it was so bittersweet because it brought back the flood of emotion I felt when my own father passed away.  The hurt, the confusion, the uncertainty, the permanence of it all.  As I held my beautiful grandson, the tears began to flow and once again it was a mix of sad and happy.  Yet another bittersweet moment. 


I had someone say to me, "why is it that life is like that?  So many moments of joy and sadness mixed together?"  I didn't have an answer for her, but I do remember thinking, Jesus was no stranger to that kind of scenario.  He experienced much joy and much sorrow in the span of his lifetime.  Even Jesus had bittersweet moments.  Knowing that my Savior identifies with my moments, makes them okay.  Makes them less, well, bitter somehow.  So even in the midst of tears, I find joy knowing that God goes before me preparing the way and is with me in every moment, whether they are filled with tears or laughter.  Thank you God for knowing my heart and for wiping away my tears and appreciating my joy. 

Words

Today I realized (thanks to the person who held me accountable) that I need to be careful how I use my words.  I was trying to convey a point and I ended up saying my phrase completely backwards - which was also a contradiction to what is Biblically correct and this person very quickly said to me "wait a minute, what you just said can be dangerous if people believe that".  I knew in my gut I had said something that wasn't quite right (thank you Holy Spirit for convicting me); but I didn't know exactly what I said until this person pointed it out.  So glad this person called me on it, because I don't ever want to misinterpret or misconstrue the word of God.  As I reflected on this experience it made me realize two things - First, I could have easily gotten mad or defensive and claimed I didn't say anything out of line (which obviously I did) and second, we need to guard our tongue...that means we pay attention and we carefully think about what we say.  We do that so that we speak truth.  We do that so we do not lead someone astray.  We do that because God asks us to guard our speech.  We do that so we can build up instead of tear down.  We do that so we can guide and teach.  I've said many times that I want people to hold me accountable and I'm so glad someone stepped up to the plate to do that.  Thank you Lord for this person and the way they taught me tonight.  Guide my tongue, help me speak words that are true to your word.       

Raindrops and Teardrops

Today I had the honor of officiating at the funeral of one of the sweetest ladies I have ever known.  Nan, as she was affectionately called, touched my heart in more ways than one.  She welcomed me into her home and we sat at her dining room table with a cup of tea and had an hours long conversation that flowed so easily you would never guess that this was the first time we had met.  She was loving, caring, giving, creative, funny, and yet would tell you just like it is.  This woman struggled with a terrible disease over the past four years and yet she handled her situation with incredible grace, strength, and dignity.  Perseverance, fortitude, compassion - other words that come to mind when I think of this woman.  So today, post funeral service, as I sit here in my study trying to determine what to do next on my priority list, I just can't seem to make myself move on to quickly.  This time as with so many others - I need to let myself grieve.  I tell loved ones not to cheat themselves out of that process and to give it time.  So this afternoon while listening to the raindrops outside my window I let the teardrops flow and know that they will bring healing.  Thank you Lord for raindrops and teardrops - one is refreshing to the earth, the other refreshing to my soul.         

Ground Blizzard

Today my HH and I traveled 75 miles north to Valentine, Nebraska for a funeral.  We had blizzard conditions Saturday and didn't exactly know what the 55 MPH, 2 lane highway condition would be on this early brisk morning.  There were spots that were completely clean and others that were snow packed; but what surprised both of us was the ground blizzard that we drove through.  The wind was really strong today and it was very quickly and aptly rearranging the snow that was already on the ground.  There were moments when our visibility was reduced because of the blowing snow.  We both commented that it was a good thing that it wasn't:  a) currently snowing and b) that there wasn't more snow already on the ground.  If either of those things would have been a factor, we probably shouldn't have been on the road. 


It's been years since I've been in that kind of ground blizzard and I forgot how unnerving it can be to have the snow blowing so hard across the road that you can't always see clearly; not to mention the occasional "push" you feel from the wind blowing your car around as well.  Needless to say since we took turns driving my HH and I both have very sore shoulder and neck muscles this evening.  I'm thinking a hot bath with some Epsom salts will be in order.  (aaahhhh, I can feel it now)


As I reflect on this day and what we experienced, I can't help but think about our life of faith and how sometimes when we are in a place where we shouldn't be, our vision for what God wants us to do is clouded or distracted at the least; and then as we strive more and more to figure out what God wants us to do we end up with some tension in our lives that ends up causing us pain.  The Epsom salts might not help that kind of tension and pain in our lives, but talking to God about His plan and design for us will not only clear things up so we can see clearly, but also keep us from the tension and pain that the wrong path - the clouded path with reduced visibility - will cause.  Just something to think about on this cold day.  (now, off to run the bath water)

Bitter Cold

The temperatures have been bitter since Monday.  This was a shock to the system because the day before it was in the 70's.  We have had the privilege of an amazing and beautiful fall season, hence the absence of posts because I've been outside enjoying it.  Now it seems to be time for winter, or at least that's what the temperatures and the light dusting's of snow would tell us.  I'm not a trained weather person, but I do keep up with the weather forecast since I'm on the road a lot as is my husband.  So today as I was looking at the forecast on weatherchannel.com I was surprised to see that we are going to remain in this bitter cold spell for quite some time with below average temperatures.  That means if my body is going to function well I will be digging out the warmer/heavier clothes, putting lots of soups, chili, ham & beans in the Crockpot, and drinking hot tea and cocoa to warm up the body after coming in from the cold. 


As I reflect on how cold it has been and how it impacts our physical bodies, I can't help but wonder if our spirit's ever go through a cold snap?  Okay, so not a time of being really cold, although sometimes our attitudes and actions can seem cold to others - but I was thinking more along the lines of a time when our spirits just don't function well.  We seem out of touch with God, like our prayers aren't being heard and everything we do just seems to be out of sync and we feel like life is a constant struggle.  I would like to suggest that just as we do something to warm up our physical bodies, that we need to do something to keep our spiritual bodies warmed up as well.  Even if you feel like your prayers aren't being answered, keep praying.  Spend time in God's word, seek the counsel of a person of faith who is feeling more in tune and grounded than you at this particular moment so they can encourage you. 


Finally, trust!  Yes, trust that this temporary cold snap won't last forever because God loves you, cares about you, and holds you in the palm of his hand always.  He even says in his word that he will never leave us or forsake us.  Really He does....check out Deuteronomy 31:6 for the promise contained there.     


May you stay warm in the midst of this bitter cold snap, both physically and spiritually. 

Snow Day

It has snowed most of the day with winds out of the north and so everything is dusted in white and there isn't much activity outside our windows.... even the birds aren't using the feeder.  It makes me wonder, where do the animals and birds go when it snows and storms? 


House pets can obviously go inside.  Cows and horses always find a wind break or a shelter if they can and they grow thick coats to protect them against such elements, but even then if they are exposed for too long at to cold a temperature or in to deep a snow they will succumb to the elements.  Ranchers and Farmers have to keep up with their livestock in these kinds of conditions all the time. 


But what about wildlife... they will also perish if the elements are to bad for to long.  I guess that is part of the cycle of life as it is called.  But I am also reminded that the Bible tells us that God's eye is on the sparrow and He knows if one falls to the ground.  I trust that God provides what the animals need, but just to help with that I always keep birdseed out and if more than the birds find it to enjoy that's alright with me. 


As I reflected upon this day - I am reminded that if God knows about the sparrow (and every other creature He has made); He certainly knows about me, about each of us as His divine creation - as His children.  He is watching over each of us and shields us.  Psalm 91:4 reminds us of God's protection:  "He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart."  What a glorious reminder of how much God cares for each of us. 


Hmmmm, snow days are good for something... even when you're an adult.  May you feel God's love today.